1. Selfie Toaster

selfie toaster

Burn your face onto your toast every morning, even after loved ones ask you to stop.

This is real and you can buy it with money.

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2. Say Cheese Instant Slicer

cheese slicer1

Quote: “Cutting cheese is one of the worst things you’ll ever have to do in the kitchen.” Not any more!

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3. Polaroid Toilet Paper Holder

pola-rroll

For the photographer whose love of Polaroid knows absolutely no bounds of taste or decency.

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4. Print Your Polaroids Onto Toilet Paper (discontinued)

Developing-Your-Decor-Toilet-Paper

For the same person but somehow worse.

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5. Nikon Nikkor Lens Alarm Clock

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It’s worth clicking the play button a little way down this page to hear the alarm sound – a D4’s shutter tripping. Its irregularity will make you twitch.

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6. Camera Ring Wedding Band

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For a mere $329 (!) you can net yourself the least tasteful photographer wedding imagineable.

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7. USB Camera Lens Humidifier

humidifier

For combating dry skin, which the promotional material notes, “is a quite unpleasant problem not only for girls but men also.” Good to clear that up.

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Seen any more good novelty photo products? Let us know on Twitter: @AP_Magazine